Raising a Child with Sensory Differences:
A Journey as a Mum and Occupational Therapist, Part Two.

This is part two of the four part blog series, written by Andrea Matthews, OT and Mum from Creative OT. In part one, Andrea wrote about when she first started noticing her sons sensory needs and how certain environments or objects made him feel.

In Part two, Andrea now looks at listening, explaining and problem-solving with her son.  She shares the importance of acknowledgment and how each person's sensory profile is unique to them.

Talking to Your Child About Sensory Processing

When it came to discussing this with him, I found the following approach helpful:

Listen

  • Ask your child about their experience. Really listen, without making assumptions about what has happened and how your child feels.

Acknowledge and don’t minimise

  • Acknowledge that their experience must be difficult. Don’t try to minimise it by saying things like ‘everyone gets distracted’ or ‘nobody likes uniform’. To my son I said something like “that sounds really difficult. I can imagine why you feel upset when you get home if you’re struggling with all those things during the day”.

Explain sensory processing

  • Talking about sensory processing differences. There are many books, online resources, videos, training courses and sensory trained professionals who can support you with this. In my experience, until we do this many children look around at their peers who appear to be managing easily and compare themselves.

Each person's sensory profile is unique

Often assuming that other kids are better at coping than them, rather than realising that their sensory processing differences may genuinely be making certain things harder for them. This part of the conversation with my son went something like this:

“I hear you telling me that lots of things feel hard at school and you feel like other people are better at managing school that you are. It is important to know that we’re all unique and there are differences in the way that our brains work. Some people notice and react more to things around them than others. If your brain is noticing and reacting to lots of things, this can make it hard to learn, concentrate and feel ok. It can be hard work for a brain to feel like that all day, so sometimes when we get home and feel safe, everything we’ve been holding in from the day can come out and make us feel upset, frustrated or have other big feelings. These things don’t mean that there is something wrong with you, just that you might need to do things a bit differently to help yourself feel ok”

It is important to note, that my sons’ sensory differences mean that he quickly registers a lot of sensory information, more so than his peers, which can lead to him feeling overloaded by his sensory environment.

Each person’s sensory profile will be unique to them, and so it is important to understand the persons experience and what this means for their sensory processing.

Problem solve together

  • Remind your child you are a team and will work together to find ways of managing situations that feel difficult. Ask them what they think will help and make sure anything you suggest is presented as an idea, for them to give their opinion on, rather than telling them what you think they should or shouldn’t do.

Using this approach, my son has come to understand himself better, and now he is in secondary school he feels more able to share how he is feeling, and to be kinder to himself when he’s had a hard day.

He calls his sensory needs his ‘brain sensitivities’ and will talk about things that he has found difficult, which gives us the opportunity to revisit often how he is doing and whether he needs any support. This has helped him feel in control of managing his needs and has supported his emotional regulation.

What if my child has difficulties expressing their needs?

There are many reasons why somebody may find it hard to explain how they feel and their sensory experience, for example, age, communication needs, feeling comfortable expressing themselves, interoceptive awareness (registering and interpreting the sensations inside their body), and other reasons.

We may need to offer additional support, e.g:

  • Visual supports.
  • Alternative communication methods.
  • Support with interoceptive awareness, e.g. Kelly Mahler’s work on interoception.
  • Trusted adults to use their observation skills to identify patterns. However, it is important that we are curious about children’s experience, rather than telling them how they should feel.

 

Next in part 3………understanding the sensory system is and how it works

Blog Series written and supplied by Andrea Matthews, Creative OT

Andrea is an Occupational Therapist and Advanced Sensory Integration Practitioner. She specialises in neurodivergence, sensory processing and acquired brain injury. Her time is spent working in schools, clients’ own homes, clinic, workplaces, and the community with adults and children.  Andrea is Co-Director of Creative Occupational Therapy, Neuro Rehab Group and Creative Physiotherapy. 

Web: creativeoccupationaltherapy.com

Facebook: Creative Occupational Therapy

Updated January 2025